Fiona was a happy baby, but she liked to be rocked to sleep and had a hard time sleeping through the night. She would cry until she vomited if we tried to put her down without rocking her and carefully placing her asleep in her crib. I remember how tiring and frustrating that time was; she did not sleep through the night until about 15 months of age. But I am thankful now for the hours upon hours I got to hold her, in her little room upstairs in our small Elm Street house, with the yellow rug and the denim rocker. I can vividly recall rocking her one night, and telling myself to remember this time with my baby to treasure and never forget. I am thankful for the months of nursing and bonding, and the many days and nights together. That time was precious, and I wish I could have it back.
Fiona never learned to crawl, and hated “tummy time”. I was told by another parent that if a child doesn’t learn to crawl they are missing an important developmental step. We would put toys around her to crawl to, and try tummy time on a regular basis; but she refused. We eventually let her sit upright and put the toys around her, and she was content. Maybe that’s when she learned to be catered to; who knows. It’s hard not to look back now and wonder if all these little decisions led to bigger difficulties; or was Fiona going to be a certain way no matter how we responded to her? It is something I wonder about now. She eventually learned to walk in her own time. We filmed her first steps. The grandparents were there that day and we all cheered her on. She was very proud of herself. She knew she was loved and cared for by the family surrounding her, and in the end, that is what is most important. To love, and be loved.