Forever my Valentine

Out of all my girls, Fiona seemed to enjoy celebrating every holiday the most. Valentine’s Day was a favorite, due to the chocolate which was one of her favorite foods, and the sweet notes given and received. Each Valentine’s Day, the girls would wake to a trail of Dove chocolate hearts leading from their beds to the dining table. I would decorate the table for a Valentine’s Day breakfast, complete with balloons, flowers, cards, gifts, and candy.

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This week has been incredibly painful. I’m missing my beautiful daughter and it’s physically and emotionally painful to not have her here. Valentine’s Day, like all the holidays now, is another reminder of all we have lost, the suffering we are enduring without her in our family, and the future with her that will never be. She should be here, writing Valentine’s cards to her friends, helping me bake, finding the trail of hearts and surprises with her sisters, bringing treats to school, and enjoying a party with her classmates. I should be able to express my love to her as her mom; she was such a precious gift. But I can’t. I don’t know how to move forward as there was so much good left behind.

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9 thoughts on “Forever my Valentine

  1. I don’t know how to move forward either. You and your family are not alone. I feel stuck in my grief, still in shock that this is my reality…living without my precious Clara. I’m so sorry for all of us who have to live with this pain.

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  2. Love you my friend. You ARE a beautiful and wonderful Mom. You ARE Fiona’s beautiful and wonderful Mom forever. I’m Praying for you tonight that God may send his very best angels to wrap their arms around you and somehow place peace and healing in your sweet, beautiful, kind, loving heart. Love you. Gwen

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  3. I love the image of Jesus carrying the lamb. I have never suffered the grief that you are going through though I have had my own dark times filled with grief. During some of the most painful moments I just prayed for Jesus to carry me. This is a very meaningful image to me. There is some comfort knowing that he is there for you.

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  4. Thinking of you guys so much. I read your blog and just cannot even imagine what you are all going through. I wish I could take your pain away. I’m so sorry for the loss of your little angel. We might be far but you guys are sure in our hearts and prayers. Please do not ever hesitate to reach out to us. We are here and we love you.
    Good friends are like stars, you don’t always see them but you should know we are always here.
    A trรจs bientรดt โ™ก

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